


Doubts

by Sepira



Series: My DBH collection of oneshots that i write when i'm supposed to sleep [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Character Death, Connor centric, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'll regret this later, No Beta, Suicide, Swearing, WHAT IS SLEEP, What Have I Done, obviously, what were you expecting really?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 08:45:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15069479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sepira/pseuds/Sepira
Summary: There are nights when Connor wonders if he was ever truly free





	Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all mistakes are mine.  
> Constructive criticism are welcome.  
> Please no flame, i'm too sleep deprived to worry about them.

Doubts  
They were the things that haunt Connor’s mind days and nights. Questions came and stayed with no answer in sight. He was confused, that much was obvious. After his last talk with Amanda, Connor could barely focus on anything else besides the revelation that kept on repeating itself in his memories.  
His deviancy was planned right from the very start.  
Stress level: 32%  
Even now, even when he had supposedly broke free, even when he is supposedly a ‘deviant’, Connor didn’t change much from before. The differences between Connor the machine and Connor the deviant weren’t that many. From the way they talked, the way they moved, the way they react to different situation. It was the same. Nothing has really changed.  
Has he ever really deviated?  
Stress level: 41%  
Connor found Rk900 in one of the many rooms in Cyberlife. Rk900, quickly named Kon to avoid the confusion, was fully functional when Connor found him. It came as no surprise when it was revealed that Kon was meant to replace him when he finishes his mission. However, the real shocker was that Kon has shown more emotions than Connor despite only becoming a deviant recently.  
He got along with officer Reed to the surprise of many (and is something Connor himself had never achieved). Apparently, Kon was more human like than Connor ever was as casually mentioned by Gavin Reed. Maybe he’s just being an asshole as usual, or maybe… just maybe…. he’s right.  
Does this means that he is still bound by his programs?  
Stress level: 65%  
Connor doesn’t get along with the other deviants in new Jericho. His former title of ‘deviant hunter’ still follows him like a shadow. They are afraid of him, they avoid him like plague, scared that he’ll revert back to his old ways. Even with Markus vouching for him, it is not enough to get their trust. Connor can’t blame them for being wary. He was the one who was designed specifically to hunt deviants down. He was the one who led the humans to Jericho. He was the reason as to why they lost so many people. He was the one who almost killed their leader twice by now (not that they know of the second attempt).  
Maybe they are right? Maybe he isn’t one of them after all. (Connor’s visits to new Jericho lessens until it came to a halt after this conclusion. No one would notice if he wasn’t there anymore. If anything, they would be happy that the hunter is gone.)  
Stress level: 70%  
Amanda is still there, some where in the back of his head, waiting for him to slip up so she can pull him into the Zen garden again. He can feel her digital present, always watching him, looming in a distance, waiting for the right time to strike, to take control of his program. Like a hunter and it’s prey. But, with a twist, the hunter is now the hunted. Connor is afraid. He is afraid of the possibilities. His state-of-the-art processor whirled, spinning multiple scenarios of what could happen after Amanda, after Cyberlife regains control of his body. Fear gripped at the Rk800’s bio components, rendering him useless, paralyzed. Fear…isn’t that something only humans and deviants experience?  
Or is it just a crude imitation that was programmed into him by Cyberlife?  
Had everything he’d done up until now all planned?  
Had none of it been of his own free will?  
Stress level: 78%  
Warnings flared through his vision. Crimson red warnings being the only thing he can see.  
Connor knows. He knows that his stress level is at 78% now. He knows that he should calm down, knows for a fact that he must lower his stress level or else. But he’s unable to. He can’t stop the doubts creeping in. He can’t stop his hands from shaking.  
Was everything a lie?  
Was he ever truly free?  
“You’re a machine designed to accomplish a task, Connor. You were never free from the very beginning.”  
Amanda’s voice rang through his audio processor, despite the fact that it should have been impossible for her to do so with out pulling him into the Zen garden. This just proves that she is slowly, but surely, regaining control, something that Connor is only delaying.  
Stress level: 86%  
And the worse part? He can’t even say that she is wrong. Perhaps he’s just binding his time, perhaps he’s just delaying the inevitable, perhaps he won’t be able to find the exit next time. Perhaps one day he’ll wake up only to find deviants, or worse, Hank dead by his own hands. Their bodies beneath his feet, skull caved in by the brute force.  
Perhaps the next time he opens his eyes, he will see himself covered in blood (both blue and red).  
Perhaps… it’s better to end it before it comes to that. It will be safer for everyone, including himself, in the long run.  
Holding lieutenant Anderson’s gun gingerly in his hands, Connor pressed the muzzle against his forehead. No turning back now. Stopping is no longer an option. He has made up his mind and there is no stopping now.  
Foot steps became louder, more frantic. It seems that some one is approaching him. Would they stop him? He doubt it. No one wants him alive. He’s a threat. A danger. And even if they did, it’s all too late now.  
Stress level: 98%  
“Connor, what the fuck are you doing!? Put that gun down!”  
Connor hears the sounds of his own system warning him of his impending shut down. Too late. Too late. It’s all too late. No one can save him now. Everything was a jumbled mess to Connor. Before shutting down his audio picked up what sounds like a prayer.  
“Please no. Oh god no. Please, not him, I can’t lose another.”  
Lieutenant Anderson?  
No. It can’t be. It’s just a figment of his imagination. Lieutenant Anderson doesn’t want him here anymore than the other deviants do.  
System shut down.  
And Connor knew no more.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at like 2 a.m instead of sleeping. It's short as fuck i know. I'll regret it later when i wake up.  
> But feel free to send me some promts (i prefer word promts and dialogue but anything is good really)


End file.
